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Ask a Lesbian

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Here is one of my creations, an opus really, that was never really appreciated like it should have been. It's the theme song to TIOLI's "Ask a Lesbian". I had been doing little bits of production and writing for Andrew's show and one of the things I had been asked to assist with was the intro to his new bit. Over my lunch break I drafted the lyrics, ran home and recorded a quick acapella version of it, and then emailed it to Andrew.
I know he was cracking up at the lyrics and I personally think they're great, so for your reading pleasure, here is the first and only draft of the Ask a Lesbian theme song (written to a polka-type melody):

If your butt plug won't fit in, and there's rug burns on your shins.
You'll find the answers in the end when you ask a lesbian.
If you didn't like twilight, but you marched for human rights.
You'll soon discover a same-sex lover with the guidance of this dyke.
2,000 pant-suits can't be wrong, with their short-cut hair and a strap on dong.
Sit your ass down when Ellen's on!
It's the Ask a Lesbian theme song!
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